"The Game"

So confused on what's going on. I know the game..I know the game oh so well. I usually start the game so I don't lose. This time I haven't started it and don't plan on playing it. What's going to be the outcome? Will I lose without even playing..She knows the game just as well as I do..her poker face is better though. I can't see if she's playing the game or not. Because of this my walls keep coming up..but she knows exactly how to knock em down. Wonder if it's all about karma..the game is being played on me because of all the games I've played, but what if it's not a game and shes sincere about her feelings..I could never tell her of this..how I feel what I think..she would get offended..or pretend she got offended in order to keep the game going knowing I want what I cant have..

She's everything I want and need..shes beautiful in every way possible..intelligent, funny, caring, sexy, smart..I think it's going to crush me if I do let her in and she end up pushing away now that she has me where she wants me..most of me says this will never happen..but from previous experiences theres the other part that says shes playing the game..